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Life is wat was, wat is and wat will be... never wat shuld hav been, wat could hav been and wat never will be.
List of upcomming events:
20/8/2004 b dae!!
Notice
If you want ur blog here, tell me or put mine in urs :)
Forget it pple... this blog is dead... now move along...
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Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
But where there are prophecies, they will cease;
where there are tongues, they will be stilled;
where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
When I was a child, I talked like a child,
I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror;
then we shall see face to face.
Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.
But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-13
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Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple
and that God's Spirit lives in you?
If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him;
for God's temple is sacred, and you are that temple
1 Cor 3:16-17
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
this is going to be a long post...
it seems to be a long time... from the day i stepped into vjc... 10 months had passed... and my workload till now has never change... its still work work and more work... and yet much more waiting to come... why do i write on? i hav no idea... it seems to be a way for escape between just sleeping and working.... school church cca... one is enough to suffocate, 2 more than enough to kill and 3... dun wan to think about it...
Life has turned into another twist... more and more probs.. more and more decision to make... i beed pushing them awae... but i guess its time to resolve them... the question is how? such decision are not meant for 17 year old studs like me... some probs were like those in the TVs... decisions decisions decisions.. going into the unknown... and the unknown scares me....
there are some things which we cant control... i agree... how i wish i could just wish my prob away... how i wish they by screaming out 'go awae' they would go awae... how i hope that by fazing my so ordered life style i would be able to fadez my feelings.... how i wonder why do i even wish or hope for these impossible things...
Life is so full of cross roads... so many decisions to make... so many paths to choose.. so many pros and cons to consider... Glad to hav God as my guide... but wats the use if the guide is but a light hidden under heavy fog? wat use is the guide if i cant see it clearly... some say follow by faith... im still not sure.. is my faith weak? where do i go from here? i need some CLEAR indications... maybe theres a neon sign big and bright above the road that im suppose to go... maybe just tat im so distracted by earthly things that i kept my head down... focus... thats wat im lacking... faith... thats wat i need...
life have been a torture... ever since i found out and discovered somethings that should be remain in doubt... ever since im clear of my feelings, i stop being myself... i hate wearing a face.... i hate hidding and putting up a false pretence... i hate being always happy... as if nuthing would put me down... but now im frustrated... pissed off... by a lot of issues... sometimes i wonder how long can i put up a 'i dun care' attitude when i actually DO care... how i wish i can do wat i preach... to let things go... how i wish tat was even possible...
i think i hid too much... much of my feelings went unsaid... much of them were bottled inside... maybe i might explode and spill it all out... maybe not... but 1 thing for sure... its affecting me... adversely... and much more damage to my heart and soul than i imagine it ever will...
So forget it... im still going to 'act' happy... lucky for me, i dun get bog down by unhappy stuffs for too long... a fews hours or fews weeks at most... maybe... then again.. maybe not...
Monday, October 27, 2003
alrite... heh.... todae quite ok lah.. lots of things happened = mixed feelings... but shal record the happy ones!! YAY... todae pract damn shiok!!! played HOBBITS!! haha.. chao nice... all my high notes are BACK ON FORM!!! finally like after 10 mnths?... hehe... hope now can start to fine tuned them and go for higher ones... haha... then low notes YAY... just 3 more to pedal C... if i can attain that low-ness i can play 4 octaves le!!! THATS FOUR AND ITS A LOT... hehe.... well.. tats it...
Saturday, October 25, 2003
alrite... woke up at 5 this morning.. grr... why so early? cuz must catch early bus go ECP see sun rise... gee...
sooo end up at beach 6:30 im the morning.. and guess wat? huge column of cloud so cant see the sun at all... onli manage to watch the sky turns blue.. bah... ohh well... can always try again some other time... grrr...
had band prac .. quite plain and boring... ok very plain and boring... sianz...
then hav this stupid talk... sooo stupid... rather go sentosa!!! bah.. WAT A WASTE... but ok lah.. morning went beach le.. haha so feeling not soo bad... haiz.... well so tats it....
Friday, October 24, 2003
chao boring now... great opportunity to test my crapping skills again.. haha...
i bet all those pple out there would be wondering 'how in the world does he manage to do all that? all the crapping seems infinite... seems boundless.... how i wish i were half as good as him in crapping...' while.. wish no more! for heres the ultimate guide to crapping
crapping is like wrinting an essay... and yet its also unlike an essay... wat makes it seem like an essay is the organisation of letters and spacing and like dots like this . that makes it look like any normal essay by a 17 yr old stud.. so wats the main difference? the main difference is the contend! the contend pple... in crap, there is no contend at all.. unless u count crap as some cintend.. then yar... else.. forget about planning... as the saying goes, if u fail to plan u plan to fail... crapping is as good as writing a failing essay.... or near there.. so rule number 1... never ever plan ur craps... then u would ask urself 'without planning how can i juice out sooo much crap?' while.. the tip is to keep on writing... wat comes to ur mind u write.. even thou its totally repetitive like this one, just write... let ur mind go blank and let the more prominent images rule ur head and let ur head rule ur fingers which will cuz ur fingers to either dance across paper or flying around a keyboard.. so yar... write... then u would be thinking, 'hey but all ur crap do has some sort of a central topic? Then how did u do it without crapping?' while that derives from the very first rule... as u keep on writing crap... ie essay of null contend.... the more u write, the more words there are on paper or on the computer screen... while just keep on writing.. for a topic will soon emerge fro, all those brainless crap that u hav just written... when u discovered a topic amoing ur crap (which is highly difficult for newbies) then just name it and go along with tat topic and just let ur crap flow once more... and really.. this long passage which u hav been reading from then till now has been done without planning nor brainstorming.. its just a long passage with words 1 by 1 thought out and typed on the sport at the author's home as he feeling totally bored now.. talk abt being bored... 'whos this bo liao guy anyway' you might be wondering... wjile his here to teach abt crapping... haha.. so crap awae! so now u hav the knoledge of crapping... since knowledge is power... u hav the power to crapping!!! may the FORCE be with u... always...
so tats it...
Thursday, October 23, 2003
Chinese Sux!
Well... other than stripping awae our periods of GP and PE.. obviously our teacher thought its just not enough... Thus she transmutated physic practical into chinese lesson also.. thats like having an extra of 6 periods of chinese each week.. in addition of our usual 5 periods... tats makes a total of ELEVEN FREAKING PERIODS OF CHINESE!... Damn it... well on the high note.. tats equivilent to 11 periods of sleep.. haha... but is not always successful.. nearly always get caught.. so stupid... sit first row also can get caught... teacher too effective le... Then somemore got all those chen yu ah.. su yu tests... all tests tests till i teh teh... Still got more homework.. enuff to stack higher than mount everest le.. bah... can fill up the spaces in grand canyon.. got compo, 2 excercise book plus other craps.. gee.. whenever can i finish them siaz? maybe onli when man colonize mars or something.. wah... stupid chinese... stupid Singapore edu system... bah.. (bear with me.. i just wan to rant somewhere).. WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... (k tats feel so much better)...
And did i mention chinese sux?
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
alrite... my hands are like shaking now... hehe.... damn weak and shaky... been learning the basic break dance foot steps from qinhong... haha chao tiring... i think i very weak... haha.. need to do more training... but i got quite strong le lor... haha... last time cant do a single pull up now can do 7... more than quite a number of people le... haha... but must still continue to train.. haiz.... shit... shaky hand cant type well... so tats it...
Sunday, October 19, 2003
alrite me very sianz rite now.. so sure write a compo
title : 'I Am Hungry' - disscuss
'I am hungry'. A simple phrase of 3 words. Probably gussesd that some point in ur life u would have used it once. however, such a simple phrase can actually holds 3 profound deep and highly intriguing meaning...
From the scientific point of view (in this case, biology), hungry would mean a physical state/being and i would be the subject tat is experiencing this physical state.. the state is also commonly known as hunger. Now wat causes hunger? How do one gets hungry? People often hav the misconception that hungry means that your stomach is empty.. A very wrong assumption from 2 scientific of view (Physics and biology). Firstly, biology wise, hunger is only experienced when ur stomach sent a signal to ur brain saying 'Hey get something down here.. its getting less full'. So u can be hungry even though ur stomach is full... tat happens when ur stomach signal has gone haywire... in the physic term, empty would result in vaccum condition.. aka.. nuthing at all... in ur stomach, although its empty.. buts its full of space!.. full of something does not make it empty rite?? erm.. wait... tats kind of literature now.. wat i mean is.. its not empty cuz its filled with AIR! so.. hunger is definatly not experienced when u have a empty stomach.
From literature point of view. I am hungry would simply meant that the subject i is now called hungry. now wats tat suppose to mean? its as good as saying 'i am human' or 'i am zhiliang'. But this statement would be totally false as i certainly wasent named ( a process invented by humans to tag a sound to something/somebody so they can shout at when feeling frustation) hungry by my mom (a human which give birth to a child and the child names tat human as 'mom') Im sure in my birth certificate (another lame invention by human to hold certain 'important' information like names and i/c number). Thus, 'i am hungry' would be deem as a false statement.. one which has no meaning and yet contains very wrong meanings... however there are ways which this phrase could be true... one way is which i would just totally acknolodege tat my new name would be hungry and that people from now on can shout 'Hungry' in frustration... wat a wonderful world rite?
Lastly from the biblical point of view, i am hungry would definatly not mean the physical being, but rather the spiritual being instead. one would certainly hunger for God's grace everydae.. his blessing are limitless... so why would one be deprived of such splendours? 'Feed ur spirit and starve ur doubts' Also, being hungry (physical state) serve as a reminder tat one shuld not depend on physical stuff alone... for it is written 'Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' Matthew 4:4 . Thus, it is not rite to live on physical wealth... depend on God always, even when u are hungry.
Thus from all these point of views. 'I Am Hungry' is actually a very grey phrase with many ambiguaties. Thus, one with a simple mind should not handle such essay topics at all as it will end up a crappy essay just like this one.
long post riiite? tats it....
Friday, October 17, 2003
alrite.. actually dun wan to blog one.. but haha.. after watching that 4 bao show reallie feel like penning (or digitally penning) something down...
seems like singapore edu has gone from bad to worse.. haha refer to previous post to see wat i mean.. so as time passes.. more stress will be on the later generation.. the stuffs they studied are getting harder and harder with each passing generation.. i cant even under pri school chinese now.. gee... so scary rite? then deb ask me abt some bio thing.. totally never heard before lor... kaoz...so chim somemore... wonders wat happen when i hav kids? will they start learning abt how nuclear stuffs works at the age of 9? instead of momorising times table will they be holding periodic tables instead?? tats really scary and i shuddered to think of it.. im glad im not born later.. haha but earlier would be better... so wat can i do now? nuthing much.. maybe hope tat the world gets destroyed soon.. then all sufferings would end.. haha...
well tats it for todae... a long paragraph i know.. me just lazy to sort them out nicely...
Thursday, October 16, 2003
ok.. todae quite plain dae.. band prac and bla bla bla...
then went out for dinner with juniors at sakae sushi.. kaoz.. the way they order damn scary... although its an all u can eat buffet... they order like 'i like tat.. give me 2 plates.. erm tat 2 plates' and they began to flipped through the pages... at the end i asked how many plates in total.. nearly got a shock... 27 plates in all... kaoz... and they still not enuff lor... still wan to order.. siao one.. in the end i must eat so much.. bah... scary leh...
tats is for the dae...
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
read chen mou's blog.. and i soooo totally agree with him.. hehe... take the first 2 tips pple and the last! it rocks!... Gee... so many pple have relationship prob.. and its really zi zao one lor (sorry to those who hav these probs but i feel its impt to let ur know). JC just study hav fun make frens can le... why go to such dumb situation?
Anyway, those probs are tiny compared with my fren.. i REPEAT.. TINY... as in PUNY LITTLE PROB THAT SHUDN'T EXIST IN THE FIRST PLACE... yar... my fren flunked his promos... may be facing RETAINING... i hav no idea how to help him.. cant even console him.. feel so useless... bahz... U pple out there STUDY HARD... dun make me WORRY... and i will study hard too and wont make ur worry... so tats it...
in life.. na de qi fan de xia (can pick up and also let go)... learn to let go bah...
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
todae is such a sianz dae... gee went school for pw haiz... then he came late and he came late.. so suppose to start at 10 end uo starting around 10:40... haha... but managed to get quite a lot of things done... gee...
anyway... after tat went parkway for a while.. me wan buy game.. but the stupid shop dun hav jedi acad... its either i cock eye or they hid it or something.. cant find at all.. so im like at home now feeling sooo bored... gee....
haiz... hope tomolo wont be tat sianz... and its SAT.. SHIT.. haven REGister yet.. SHIT SHIT SHIT... heh.... "sometimes saying a bad word do help pple to destress.. amazing" -chen mou...
so FUCK... haven register yet..... how how how???
Monday, October 13, 2003
Read this story.. very sad...
story with lesson.......pls read on (from a friend) this is a story that
I read in the Chinese papers Lianhe Zaobao on 2 Aug 1999. It is written by
local Chinese traveler cum writer, Wu WeiCai. I felt very touched and
shaken by the story and I have translated it to English so that more people
may read about it...
"This happened on a highway in China. 40 passengers, mostly males were on
an inter-state bus. Halfway through the journey, two thugs on the bus
suddenly went up to the lady bus driver and demanded that she stopped the
bus and follow them to a waste ground nearby. The lady driver refused and
began to put up a fight against them. At the same time, she cried out to
the other passengers in the bus to help her. However, the other passengers
not only cruelly turned a deaf ear to her cries, they even suggested that
she give in to the thugs' demands so that they can carry on their journey
quickly when they are done with her. One young man amongst the passengers
stood out to chide the rest of the passengers and tried to help the lady
driver. However, sensing that the majority of the people do not have the
guts to resist them, the thugs grew even bolder and beat up the young man.
They then forcefully dragged the lady driver out of the bus. Right on the
side of the road, the two thugs took turns to rape the lady driver while
the rest watched. After the thugs have satisfied their lust, they commanded
the lady driver to return to the bus and resume with the journey. With
tears streaming down her face, the lady driver begged that they drive the
righteous young man out of the bus as she is too ashamed to face him again.
The young man felt absolutely stupefied. So much for trying to speak up for
the lady and now he is thrown out and left stranded on a desolated highway!
Hours later, when the lady driver passed by a mountainous cliff, she sped
up and flung the whole bus with all its passengers over the cliff, right
into the bottom of the valley. This story was re-told later by the only
survivor of the journey - the righteous young man driven out of the bus."
Recently there have been spates of events that reveal the ugly side of our
"civilised" society. Not so long ago, a Malaysian bus driver was viciously
beaten up when he tried to stop a snatch thief. He was surrounded by
members of the public, watching with their arms folded. I question myself.
Have we gone from the stone-age to become even more barbarian? Has the
condition of the human heart degenerated to being no different from that of
an animal? Did the lady bus driver commit suicide because she couldn't bear
the shame of being raped or is it because she has given up on the humanity
of "humans"?
If this article has caused you to pause and check the condition of your
heart, you may wish to pass it on to someone else to read.
so wats coming to the world rite now huh?
Sunday, October 12, 2003
alrite todae went vict house... jedi acad so cool... can hav double-edge light saber or just use 2 light saber! haha so fun.. and i won my first duel with a human player!! yay!! haha me not tat sucky after all :) hehe...
anyway, was thinking about more crap todae... the more i think the crappier it gets.. dont know why suddenly think abt it also.. it just comes to my mind..
well.. wats is exactly lobing a person? wats a perfect love? is it loving the person as who he is or maybe u love him because of some attributes he possesed?? well... which is the perfect love then?
it is impossible to sae tat u love someone as he is.. theres surely something about him that attracts u... may it be looks, character or his deposition... there will be a certain feature that caught ur fancy... thus, a saying a perfect love in loving someone for who he is and not what he possesses may seem impossible now... however, if such love exists, then it will definatly be a perfect love.. love whereby its for who u are and not what u are... love that does not turn to hate no matter what u may hav done... imagine an imperfect love, loving a guy cuz his thrifty.. somedae if he turns into a gambler, wont that love developed into hatred? onli a perfect love can still love him totally as he his loved for he is he and not him being a thrifty guy... such perfect love does not exist in this world...
yet.. all is not lost... this perfect love cannot be done by imperfect pple.. onli God, being perfect can fully show and shower His perfect love for us... He love us no matter wat we did or done... whether we are rich or poor, smart or dumb, ugly or beautiful... we are all precious in His eyes... and yes, He still loves u even u rejected Him, or even refuse to acknoledge His existence...
And be thankfull, for He is always so patience... He will always wait for u... always...
Well.. i hope i can love pple the way God love pple... its near impossible ... but i can always try... Love is not abt finding the perfect person... its about loving an imperfect person perfectly....
Saturday, October 11, 2003
alrite... todae went shopping for b dae present and also getting a new shoe...
after walking around in suntec and raffles city for 2 hours... we managed to get a water bottle with card and wrapping paper and bla bla bla... and wow the cost like not $28 ... gee... and i hav to pay first for the simple fact tat onli i brought enough money... gee...
then went walking somemore... after 2 hrs end up back in tp to buy shoe... then found out shoe dun hav my size.. went to balestier shaw there ... gee... so stupid rite? end up there got the same water bottle... bahz.... its so stupid... but ok lah... least it was quite nice walking around... hehe............... well tats all for todae.. no tots or some lame ideology...
alrite.. after much debate with freny sammy over the phone.. he reached a conclusion that vs teachers sux and my conclusion is singpore education sux...
singapore education is not education at all.. contend had been filtered by government to what they think is important and needed for economic growth.. if they think they need more chemist, they will start a course about chem, put more emphais on chem and maybe even publicise tat the government are looking for chem literate pple...
syaballus will change to suit wat the government need... they are under constant revision to include what is deemed important and take out wat they seen as no longer useful or out dated... Education is thus, no economy driven... everything that they do, is to prepare future singaporeans for future challenges... but wat sort of challenges? economic challenges of course... cuz its a miracle no doubt tat singapore survived and progress... thus they wan to make sure it wont deprove...
for me, education is really education.. where u learn wat u wan to learn... where u learn what u think is important... where u make the decision on wat to study and wat not to... in other words.. liberal education... not some education where they teach u exam-wise stuff, answering techniques and some order level or answering.. a simple, old fashioned learning will do for me...
of cuz, given singapore small population size.. liberal education is near impossible for reality... its not possible to diversify our pple... wat if in future 3 million pple study 3 million different topics? how could an economy without a strong base survive? although i hate the system.. but i hav to admit.. its important...
education now just make sure ur easier to get train into higher level skills... a student with triple science background can take almost any science related jobs...
im born a genius... education ruined me...
Friday, October 10, 2003
yay..!!! papers are OVER.. haha so happy!!
after the maths paper went out with frens to go gai gai..
while actually its to celebrate 1 fren b dae.. but same time go gai gai haha
aiya then had quite a nice dae.. really just stone around.. haha in vs time would go vict house.. aiya but he now has his own life le.. so.. really just stoning around...
then end up in cine food court play truth or dare.. then STUPID chen mou... of all quetion he ask must be that... also a bit my fault lah... shuld hav just stop and just insist on another question... but wats done cant be undone.. haiz... SO SORRY to the 2 pple.. haiz... chen mou its HALF UR FAULT.... must bear HALF OF THE BLAME....
Thursday, October 09, 2003
haha.. yay..! tomolo last dae of exam le!.. todae no papers so came to blog a bit... haiz the past few papers... so stupid... think gonna fail everything... bah... seems like i gonna retake the promos paper next year again... stupid.... and of all subjects, dunnoe why computing seems to hav the highest hope... haha... maybe cuz i already fan qi le, then do paper no stress to pass, just do for fun... haha... method quite good leh.. if it works will fa yang guan da... haha... very tempted to type my poem here also... but in chinese haha... so no point....
aiya so sainz... tomolo maths later going study in airport... past few nites been studying out also..... haiz...hope tat i wont fail everything ... wah damn scared... WAH... hmm.. think after tomolo paper i go hav fun then saturday comes then i go panick wah!
haiz...................................................................................................
anyway.. just suddenly hav this dumb thoughts.. saw a guy t shirt with this words tat sae 'no one is above the law'. kept me thinking why? Hows law implemented? after a long thinking porcess i discovered in a democratic country like singapore, its a whole long chain....
First who create the law? the government officals and yada yada
Then who put these pple up in these officials post? the citizens vote for them.. thus its sort of became the citizen laws... then however why would pple break laws then? dun they know that the law they broken is the very law that they set too? if they wan to break the law in the first place, wont they not implement the law in the first place? an example came to my mind, if a school hav this very ridiculars school rule, like everyone must be bald, and if u know that u will not shave ur head bald no matter wat, would u still join that school? but in the case of country, ur already borned in it... theres no way for choice.... haiz... so stupid.. then who has the right to implement the law? the people or the government officals? then again.. its the people tat implement the law.. cuz they vote government officials to help carry out them.... so if u got caught and send to jail for shop lifting, blame urself for creating such a dumb law....
Saturday, October 04, 2003
southpark - s.a. tan song [up there]
Sometimes I think, when I look up real high
That there is such a big world up there
I'd like to give it a try.
But then I sink, cuz it is here I'm supposed to stay.
But I get so lonely down here, tell me why's it have to be that way?
Up there,
there is so much room,
where babies burp and flowers bloom.
Everyone dreams, I can dream too.
Up there, up where the skies are ocean blue.
I can be safe and live without a care,
up there
They say I don't belong
I must stay below alone.
Because of my beliefs I'm supposed to stay where evil is sown
But what is evil anyway?
is there reason to the rhyme?
Without evil there can be no good,
So it must be good to be evil sometimes.
Up there,
there is so much room,
where babies burp and flowers bloom.
Everyone dreams, I can dream too.
Up there, up where the skies are ocean blue.
I can be safe and live without a care
live without a care
If only I coud live up there.
I wanna live
I wanna live up there
Ooh baby, ooh
I want to live up there.
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